When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?

I believe it was through my first pregnancy.

My difficult relationship with my parents reached a new low when my pregnancy hormones kicked in.

I was in a new situation, a new land, new friends and all I wanted was for someone to say that things would be okay. My parents said they would not come to lend the helping hand.

I forget the reasons they gave but in there somewhere they said they were scared of me. I can’t remember much from those days. I was such a wreck. But it did not break me and I believe that it’s made me stronger and far more resilient than I ever thought possible.

After my Baby was born, I changed completely. I said I don’t let them touch me in a way that matters. They have become characters from a silent film. They do what they do and I watch passively. I react when I’m cued to but nothing more nothing less.

I have to say that my loneliest days was also the time that unexpected people stepped in and relationships that I did not think possible bloomed. And I am ever so grateful for those people for although it was forged at the toughest of times, it has also continued to flourish through easier days.

Ah! it’s going to be a good, good summer. 🙂

 

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