I want Baby to grow upto be the best she can be.
But I suppose that is every parent’s dream.
I realise that her journey, as a girl, will probably start with me. So if I were to look at the, say top five things, I want Baby to be, I would have to be all that and more.
First of all, I want Baby to be confident the way men are. In one way, I envy men their confidence. A result of conditioning, no doubt, but they are so sure of themselves. I mean almost every man I know truly believes that he is God’s gift to women. Their confidence or high self-esteem is the result of generations of grooming and social conditioning I know. However, there is this one friend of mine who is confident like that. SK focusses on her strength with the kind of fanatic belief that I’ve only ever seen in men. This means that she gets far and faster than a lot of other women. This does not mean she is not feminine. In fact, in her outlook she is almost girly. However, she does not suffer that debilitating lack of confidence that most women suffer on most days of the year.
I need to build up this reserve so Baby can learn from me. Although I am more confident about myself now, I have a long way to go still but hopefully Baby will learn how to learn as well as learning from me.
Secondly, I want her to be trustworthy. This is one of my strengths. A secret is always safe with me. No matter what. And I mean even when the other party has reneged or has drifted, I have always been trustworthy.
Another thing I like about myself is that I am not judgemental. I believe that most people do what they do because they have their own reasons. For this reason, I rarely talk about other people and what they do in a way that would suggest that I am better than them. As a result of this I tend to give people the benefit of a doubt.
I don’t want Baby to trod the path well travelled. I want her to go off the beaten path, get hurt, pick herself up again and then carry on. I hope she has the strength to do this. I have started from zero a couple of times in my life and I hope she has the courage (or foodhardiness) to do that. I hope she does not think that she has to be perfect for my sake, her family’s sake or her society’s sake. A life without mistakes is not a life at all.
Finally, I hope she falls in love. Not with a man. Or a woman :). I mean with her vocation in life. It could be selling beer at a beach (which is not a bad thing) but I hope she falls in love with what she is meant to be or what she is. Fulfilling your destiny is why we are put on this earth after all isn’t it? Every parent thinks their child is meant for greatness. I wish for Baby to find this greatness within herself.
She can only do the last two if she knows that her family is there to catch her when she falls. So finally I hope she will always be confident to come back home to dust off, pick up the pieces and start again…if she needs to.